MEN AGAINST RAPE

For many years the public were scared to call rapists by their gender for fear of stereotyping. But for many years NGO’s working in the field of abuse have seen the affects of deeds done by men. A solidarity report says that a child is raped in South Africa every 3 minutes. Most of these are young girls between 8 and 12. Most of them have been raped by someone they know. This someone is a father, a grandfather, a brother, the mother’s boyfriend, the neighbour – all of them men.

The extremely violent rape and death of a student in India and more recently in Bredasdorp has highlighted the fact that the offenders are indeed violent and ruthless men. It is also becoming more evident that the current reporting and intervention systems dismally fail the victims of these offences. Many cases, especially where children have been raped, are thrown out of court because of the inability of the child to testify. In these cases medical evidence is of utmost importance, but a lack of proper training in the field of forensic medical examinations results in doctors who are not equipped to do the examination, let alone testify in court. Therapy during and after the court process is none existent and it is a luxury only the wealthy can afford.

This paints a grim picture of the situation in South Africa. It has become an unsafe environment for women and female children where perpetrators roam free and victims are deserted. Currently many of the NGO’s working in the field of women and child abuse are running responsive programmes. And they are overwhelmed even with the low reporting rates. They also acknowledge that this is a pandemic that they cannot stop, they can only help. So who should take responsibility for this then?

During the opening of a Matla A Bana Child friendly Reporting Facility at Ceres Police station, Western Cape police commissioner, General Lamoer, challenged men to take responsibility for these deeds. He reiterated this message during the 16 Days of Activism Campaign. He boldly acknowledgeD that men are indeed the perpetrators and that change will only come from men standing up and taking action. Like drunken drivers and alcoholics they need to admit that they have a problem. Only once this start happening will this terrible problem be addressed.

A group of business executives, and all men, from Johannesburg took up his challenge. Originally included in the Matla A Bana Cape Argus team, they have now undertaken to cycle from Johannesburg to Cape Town. During this tour they will be visiting schools in the regions and doing interviews to spread this message. Their dream is that this Xtreme For Kids Tour will grown into a national event during which men have the opportunity to raise their voices against women and child abuse.

“It is initiatives like this and the participation of men that can tip the scale”, says Matla A Bana CEO Monique Strydom. “Where we work you will find women helping other women to pick up the pieces. Very few men actually become involved in the restoration work after the deed was done. But they can make a huge difference by speaking out and setting examples for young men out there”.

It is time that South Africa is no longer seen as a country where children are being raped and abused, but as a true reflection of the rainbow nation it claims to be.

For more information on Matla A Bana or the Xtremeforkids Cycle tour, please visit www.matlaabana.co.za

CAPE TALK SHARES OUR SENTIMENT

Cape Talk interviewed Monique Strydom today and will do so again tomorrow. Her message is that men must stand up and take responsibility for their deeds.

Beauty is not skin deep!

Last year we told you about Kayleigh Victor, a very young beauty queen, who managed to win R 30 000 for Matla A Bana in the Roman's Pizza Double Up Challenge. Well, she has inspired other young beauty queens to also show their passion for children in need.


Matla A Bana was chosen as a beneficiary of the  Mr & Miss Enchanted Competition,  hosted by Miss Teen Africa, Katelyn Strydom. Katelyn, together with Miss Petite Africa, Elchelique Prinsloo & Miss Tiny Africa, Natanja Prinsloo, donated a large amount of products raised by them.  Including 27 comfort packs, bar fridge for DNA samples, children's furniture and toys. These donations were allocated to the  Pretoria Moot FCS, working in central Pretoria.

Matla a Bana would like to thank these precious young girls for making a difference and reaching out to abused children!

CAPE TALK COMES TO THE RESCUE

After hearing about the plight of many children at Parow Court, Cape Talk decided to step in and help MAB raise funds to start a theraphy program.  During the day of the 14 December Cape Talk highlighted the need and also interviewed Col Harry (SAPS) and Cat Rieper (Social worker). Monique Strydom also had a great afternoon in the Cape Talk Studios as guest of John Maytham. In the end volunteers offered their services and two big groups made considerable donations. More than R 150 000 was raised. We would like to thank John, all at Cape Talk, Intercape and specifically Dischem Foundation and Grand West Casino for their enormous contribution.  The project will be launched as a pilot project and will start in February 2013.

Only rich people can afford to be raped

Parow Court is currently having to deal with many children who are so traumatized that they cannot testify. They need extensive theraphy and help. At R 500plus a session many of these families cannot afford the theraphy and if the children cannot testify, the offenders might go free. Here are some of their stories:

1. MARIA (8 years)

I was raped by an old lady who pushed something into me (front the front and behind), to rid me of an illness. Someone told the court about this. When the police took me to the hospital the doctor told them that someone else has been raping me for year. In fact the doctor said that I have the v-gina of a woman who has been married for 5 years. I am only 8 years old. This rape has been happening in my own house. The court wants me to tell them who did this - but I cannot tell them. I need therapy to help me tell... (extreme trauma. Child had to go back home where the offence took place because she cannot talk and there is no other evidence). 

2. REBECCA (14 YEARS)

I attended a sport event. There was an evil man there. He was out on parole for raping someone. He grabbed me and took me aside where he raped me for a long time. I had to face him in court. It was terrible. Then he got a lawyer. I had to go to court again. I was so scared I for the first time in my life I got an epileptic attack. I could not testify. I need therapy to help me deal with this and to testify against him. (Extreme trauma triggering the attack. Child too traumatized to testify). 

3. MARA (4 years)

I am 4. I live with my sister and brother who are 1 and 2 under plastic sheets in Bellville South. One day workers from a factory heard me crying. When they found me they also found that I was raped. I was actually so torn apart that I will have to wear a little urine bag for the rest of my life. My father is very violent. He threw boiling water over my 2 year old sister. Half her scalp is burnt, she does not speak or walk. They want me to tell them who did this, but I cannot talk. We now live with my grandmother a block away. I need therapy to help me to talk and tell (Extreme trauma preventing child from disclosing).

4. SAMUEL (age 6)

I was raped by one man. Then another boy of 13 years raped my brother who is 8, and me. He does other horrible things to other children and even dogs. I have to testify against him, but I cannot even talk about the first man. Help me to tell so that I can get help.

GOODBYE AND HELLO

It is a new year and a new beginning. Well, perhaps for many kids who have just started school or those who have moved on to university. Here at Matla A Bana every year is a new beginning. We start the year off with gratitude to all those wonderful people and companies who have supported us during the last year. With happiness at our successes and the knowledge that we have managed to help many children.

But for many children in SA there is no new beginning. They have started this year knowing that daddies will keep on hurting them, that there is no hope and no future.

This year we once again undertake to help as many children who are hurting as possible. We undertake to make sure that they find hope again, that there is a future which is bright and filled with love.

When it comes to finding every year is a new beginning too. We need to secure funding and support all over again to continue what we are doing. But we know that it will be provided because we are not fighting this fight alone.

We wish all our supporters, volunteers and donors a very blessed 2013 and we hope to enjoy your continued support!

Monique Strydom (CEO MAB)

West Fleur Hospital victim facility opened

When MAB undertook to help rape victims at Wes Fleur Hospital (Atlantis) earlier this year, we did not know that it was going to happen so fast! Securing a container and finding a sponsor has proven one of the most difficult challenges we have faced for many year. Until MAB was chosen as the beneficiary charity for Old Mutual and Media 24 on Mandela Day. 1000's of comfort and snack packs turned into a facility, when Media 24 agreed to sponsor the container and Old Mutual Foundation the furnishings and fittings.  The facility is truly a simbol of what can be done when companies support charities. This facility was opened on 13 December. It has a seperate waiting area and medical examination room for rape victims.

Thank you to Media 24 and Old Mutual Foundation for your great support!

Sponsors rewarded!

Monique & Collin Cullis (Cape Talk)

The WC MAB office hosted a breakfast at the Pinelands City Lodge for Cape Town sponsors who could not be at the AGM. These sponsors supported MAB during the 2011/12 financial year. Included in this group was two local radio stations, Cape Talk and Radio Tygerberg, who's combined sponsorship was more than R 100 000. Rotary Claremont sponsored more than R 200 000 during this period, and this funding was used to open Child Friendly Facilities in Khyalitsha and Milnerton. 

Thank you very much to Graham and his staff at Pinelands City Lodge for treating us all like kings and thank you to all our donors without whom we would not have been able to do the work!

Our first Mpumalanga facility!

MAB opened it's first Child Friendly Facility in Mpumalanga yesterday. This was done to the notes of the police band and great happiness from the FCS officers who was astounded with the new container. The two-room container is a full facility with assessment and a monitoring room and audio visual recording facilities. This project was made possibly by the generous support of Roman's Pizza and their "Wipe that smile on your face" project. MAB child-friendly reporting facilities can also be found in the Western Cape and Gauteng.

MAB opens facility on West Rand

Thanks to the generous sponsorship of Roman's Pizza, MAB was able to open the yet another Child Friendly Facility. This time at the Krugersdorp Child Protection unit on the West Rand. Thanx to Bonnie and the Roman's Pizza team for your great support!

MAB AGM HOSTED

It was a wonderful reunion of sponsors and long time friends at the MAB Annual General Meeting for 2011/12 hosted on 6 Dec at Afrique Boutique in Johannesburg. A group of nearly 50 sponsors, faithbased groups, media and SAPS officers attended this event. Included in this group four SAPS generals!

During her CEO feedback, Monique Strydom thanked all for their loyal support without these projects could not have been done. Some of the highlights in this report are:

• The signing of the Memorandum of Understanding with the SAPS National Office
• Securing R 1.150 000 in non-monetary sponsorship
• And the assisting of 13 000 children in the last year. 

Guest speaker, General Magda Stander (Retired Deputy National Commissioner) entertained the audience with the challenges and funny moments of being a woman in the police. 

Major sponsors and supporters where also honoured with special certificates.

However the highlight of the day was a special birthday song by Marilyn Monroe, a green frog, the Beatles and the Chipmunks to MAB - who turned 10 years old this year!!

Ceres Opening

We had a great morning in Ceres with Roman's Pizza sponsor, Bonnie De Klerk and a surprise visit by General Lamoer. This special event was the opening of the child-friendly room at Ceres FCS unit. This unit is situated in a high risk area with a lot of abuse because of substance abuse.

“PUT THEIR FACES ON LAMP POSTS” SAYS TOP COP

“The faces of sexual offenders should be put on lamp posts”, were the words of WC Provincial Commissioner, General Arno Lamoer, at the opening of a child-friendly room in Ceres. He stated that the Western Cape has a “Hall of shame for drunken driving”, but it is more important to make the sexual offenders known to the public. Actioning a sexual offences register will also help in the fight against child abuse.

The opening of the Matla A Bana child-friendly room at Ceres Family Violence, Child Protection and Sexual Offences Unit was one the many projects implemented Matla A Bana during the 16 Days of Activism of No Violence Against Women and Children Campaign during this week. This is one of the first facilities of its kind in the rural Western Cape countryside and the child-friendly assessment room will create a safe environment for children to disclose in and be assisted. According to General Lamoer, child abuse rates here are much higher than in the city, due to the excessive substance abuse in these areas. This is the ninth facility implemented by Matla A Bana in the Western Cape, with the last two being the victim room at Paarl Hospital and a reporting facility at Stellenbosch FCS unit, which was also launched this week.

“We must stop campaigning and live the lifestyle of making the world of women and children better”, Genl Lamoer challenged companies and charities, whilst applauding Matla A Bana for doing just that. He also challenged men in South Africa to stand up. According to him 98% of the perpetrators are men and it is time that men stand up, admit that they are abusers and say sorry. “How is it possible that an adult male can take off the nappy of a one year old child and rape her?”, is the kind of question he asks every day when he reads about these cases in his daily crime stats reports. Even though he is an experienced police officer, he is still sickened by what men do to children. He put action to his sentiments this year when he placed a special group, “Men for change” in charge of the SAPS 16 Days projects.

The Ceres FCS unit serves a vast rural community stretching as far as the Koue Bokkeveld on the one side and the Warm Bokkeveld on the other. This unit has some of the highest incidences of sexual offences against children in the Western Cape, but also some of the highest successes. The FCS units in the Western Cape were responsible for securing 39 life sentences this year against sexual perpetrators.

Matla A Bana was founded by ex-hostage, Monique Strydom, who applauded this special police unit for the work they are doing. Not only for arresting perpetrators, but for taking such special care of the child victims. The officers of the Ceres unit played an active part in creating the facility by doing the building alternations to create the room themselves. They were however strapped for funding to finish the facility and this is when Matla A Bana with the help of Roman’s Pizza stepped in. Matla A Bana will be opening an eight facility at Muizenberg FCS unit early in the New Year. This facility serves a large portion the Southern Suburbs.

Whilst the police and organisations like Matla A Bana, will work effortlessly to stop the abuse of children, this will only happen once men take responsibility. If you are a man and in a leadership position and would like to join the campaign to stop child abuse, you can contact Matla A Bana on matlapr@mweb.co.za

Stellenbosch CFF opened

We are very happy to announce the opening for the Child-friendly facility at Stellenbosch FCS unit. This is the first facility outside of Cape Town in the Western Cape. This facility has state-of-the-art recording equipment and two-way mirror. The murals in this facility was designed together with the forensic social worker so that it can be used in the assessment of the child. Brig Mentoor and his staff made all the sponsors feel very welcome and Roman's Pizzas treated us to some great pizzas!
This facility was also made possible by the sponsorship of Romans Pizza.

We would also like to thank all our other sponsors:
Timber Trade
Builders Express
Witzenberg Poles

Paarl Hospital Child Friendly upgrade

Matla A Bana WC yesterday showed off the upgrades done at Paarl Hospital. Members of the FCS unit, sponsors and media attended the event. The children's waiting room was made child-friendly with murals and kiddies furniture. The medical examination room where rape victims are examined were also made victim friendly. Thank you to Roman's Pizza who made this project possible!